Shadow

Before it came into my life,
I was happy my smile was like a sun ray.
But….
Things around me that broke me apart.
Some words cut me through.
That time, it spreads its arms
And held me tight, it was a shadow.

When it started to take over me,
I feel suffering.
But now I feel I’m enjoying
It’s company.
It’s not a man, not a woman.
It doesn’t have any physical form.
It lives just inside me.

Slowly, it was swallowing me like black hole.
It talks to me.
Words are creeping inside my head,
Like some ghost manipulating me
To harm myself.

I stay strong, but…
My heart was weak.
Cold darkness is swallowing me.
My heart becomes cold as ice.
I’m silently suffering.

I try to get away from the shadow
When I talk about it to someone,
They say I’m talking crazy.
They didn’t accept me, but Shadow did.

When no one is around
That time, only shadow was there for me,
Protecting me like a rose protected by the thorns.
It pulls me into its embrace and holds me close.
In its company, now I feel safe and comfy,
Something I never feel with anyone.

Nothing in the word comes easy.
Everything needs to be pay, paid for living.
But I’m not paying at all,
Because shadow doesn’t want any payments.
It wants to stay in my head,
Messing up in my mind.

when I was alone, it talks to me,
Convinces me that if I let it consume me,
It promises me I won’t feel pain.
I won’t have to suffer anymore.
Foolishly, I followed what it said,
Because no one was around me to listen,
To what I had been through.

It moves me as it wishes.
It is so possessive that
It doesn’t want me to smile,
Talk to anyone or become social.
It wants to keep me only for itself.

It doesn’t have a name, but…
People call it depression.
It is a silent aggression.
Which kills you from inside.
Not physical,
You just look like a dead body
That breathes but has no life.

Author’s Note:
“Shadow” was born from silent, hidden sorrow—depression that disguises itself in plain sight. If this poem resonates with you, then you’re not alone. Your pain is real. Your story matters. Healing begins when we face our shadows instead of fleeing from them.
— Monika Sunuwar